Monster Mornings

"One day, you won't be so eager to get up in the mornings..."

This sage premonition was said by my 12th grade ethics teacher, who guaranteed that I wouldn't always be a morning person. At the time, my thoughts were thus: "We're different people" + "It runs in my family" + "I'll prove you wrong". Nowadays, however, I realize I'm wrong. Every morning, I roll over in bed and warm up my brain perusing messages and updates on my mobile. I only force myself out of bed when the time ticks along and I must rush off to work, barely brushing my teeth on the way out, forgetting my water bottle (or other necessity for the day).

It pains me to realize that I am indeed turning into that woman who dreads the mornings, never wanting to start my day, always wanting to laze. It's as if I consider my slothfulness a conservation of energy, not a waste. Well, this "conservation of energy" mode has really messed up my life. I'm always half-assing things in an attempt to have fuel for the rest of the day, looking for excuses to take a break, to eat, to nap. With four hours of dog-walking every day, I was pooped, my muscles were strained, as was my mentality.

"Babe, to be honest, your problem is that you don't sleep well at night."

Trust my know-it-all, straight-laced, disciplined boyfriend to have sound advice. After getting angry at him, I decided to take it on. Ignore my phone after 10pm. Don't check it if I wake up during the night. Get 8 hours of solid rest.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it pains me to inform that he's right. Yesterday, I slept soundly throughout the night, got up properly an hour before my first dog, and I walked/cycled for nine hours total, my longest doggy day to date. No lunch break, water interspersed throughout the day, over 31000 steps taken, and plenty of cute doggies.

And guess what? I slept nearly nine hours last night! I feel rejuvenated this morning and my body feels perfectly fine. I could kill him for being right. It's so annoying.

Just Be Yourself

When I got up, ready and happy to tackle the day this morning, I started not with my Facebook feed, but with a TedTalk about discovering and embracing your true self. We are in constant comparison with others (my most recent thing was, "wow, those people have much more vocal agility than me"), and it's depressing - not only emotionally but physically. I wouldn't put as much concentrated effort into practicing because I just accepted that I wasn't going to be as good. 

Why do we do this to ourselves? The constant comparison, the constant mental debilitation (that lead to physical debilitation)? 

And as the Ted speaker asked you to think of your ideal self, the person you'd want other people to see, I realized that this person I wanted to be - who I knew I was - was a dancer. I've not been to dance class in months, and it was because I accepted that I just wasn't as good. That I didn't pick up routines fast enough, that my turnout was weakening.

Well, all of those things might be true, but not because of my lack of potential. It was because I failed to practice, simply because I felt I couldn't do it. My mental road block was stopping me from achieving simply by stopping me from attending class. 

So if there's anything you take from this post, take this: you are kicking yourself in the arse if you keep putting up mental blocks to safeguard you against "defeat". My day-to-day process is going to be much smoother now that I sleep better. I have the ability to walk a full day and come home to practice singing. Moreover, I have the agility to walk a full day and get my butt to dance class too.

So when your brain says "no", take note. You can kick that habit. Train yourself to say "yes" more and more. There are only 24 hours in the day, sure, but if you've got the drive to tackle it, you can achieve. The drive starts with you. Be the monster in your morning, tackling and devouring everything in sight. Say yes. Accomplish. Thrive. 

And still get angry at your boyfriend (by chopping off your beloved hair).