Music Blog

Hi all. I was hoping to tell my week through song. Let's start with this beaut from 2000.

It's funny that my friends also say I should act my age! However, they don't mean "Please grow up, you're being irresponsible"; they mean "you're only 23! Relax." Somehow, I am so reluctant to let go of things. I want to control as much as I can, to achieve perfection by understanding my life's details and fitting them pristinely together. In my life, I keep introducing new pieces without putting together the old. I am constantly thirsting for more, for better, for even more, for best, and then what's next? I feel like I'm kicking up dust rather than getting anywhere. 

Letting Go

When I won that essay competition 6 weeks ago, a few friends made suggestions that I treat myself. That wasn't my initial reaction at all. I wanted to save my winnings, to have a financial safety net for extraordinary circumstances. My first "splurges" began gradually, and then it culminated this week in buying my own domain as well as a subscription to CastingCallPro, where I could look for auditions and put myself up for opportunities without my agent. 

This Won't Make Me Famous

Turns out my splurges didn't stop there. This gal's scheduled to go to Paris with the lovely +Alexis Porter! I cannot wait to see Shmax, to hear about Oz and to visit a city I've never even dreamed of visiting with a gal I love so much! I am now revisiting Duolingo, the foreign language app.

Good Effort. Gotta Start Somewhere!

Sorrowful Times

Another thing I had to let go... was a dear friendship from my youth. Once upon a time, I used to joke among my friends about FTing them (FT stands for friendship terminated). And now one of those friendships has come to an end, cleanly, understandably, but extremely regrettably. Being a vagabond has its perks, for sure, but I always hoped to maintain these friendships from all over the world. Some people can't handle the distance, whether it be due to actual space, differences in careers, time, etc. Is that reason to formally sever a once-solid relationship? 

Our next song.

In my mind, the answer is a defiant "no", but I will just live and let live. It's painful, but it's "for the best". Not because I'm better off without this friendship, but because I need to be valued as a friend, not thwarted due to inconvenience.

Another goodbye I'll have to make next week is with Tommy +shijie xu. Since he's planning on jumping straight into his career in China, he took the opportunity to leave as soon as his course was over. I cannot believe this true friend from the beginning of my time in Cardiff is now going to say Au Revoir, and I am going to say Bon Voyage, and we are going to go our separate ways. Sal's life sure is seeming like a lonely place at the moment...

One-to-One

Don't worry about me, readers, all is going to be okay. Last night, Fabrizio invited me over for dinner and we chatted for four hours. I was exhausted by the end of it, as you can imagine, but he had some interesting points amid all his very-stereotypically-Italian-hand-gestures (he made us pasta, and gosh, it was delicious, simple, quick). If I've gleaned anything from my interaction with him, it's that life sorts itself out. Sure, you can make things happen by doing doing doing, or you can witness things happen by letting them develop. He's more the development type of guy (and you can take a pretty accurate guess as to what I tend to do).

I'm also excited to say that I've invested in a session with Bruce Guthrie, a director I worked with last year during my course. Bruce has done an awesome job of doing doing doing, taking performances to Singapore for two years running, directing at the Wales Millennium Centre and RWCMD, being appointed the director of National Youth Theatre Wales all the while living in London. I've mentioned Bruce before...twice. He's Scottish. Here's a post from when we first met:  OH Bruce :)

After my session with James this past week, we both were over the moon. I said (quite reasonably), "A year ago, I couldn't have done this. I couldn't have touched it." "Me too" James replied. I love that we work together and achieve together and find the joy in our accomplishments.

And I'll finish with this: invest in an old friendship this week (from a gal who's heart could use some positivity).