Butter Cream TRADITION! Morals and More

I'm going to start this off nicely with a few anecdotes from my week at work. It seems my coworkers have finally understood how very, very anti-waste I am (and how very, very pro-food I am).

At the County Club:

As I patiently polish silverware at the end of the lunch rush, the chef leaves a bowl of curry/rice/veg on the counter, and I am like, "oh! is that for me?" YUM :P

At the café:  

After icing her cake, Laura brings me the mixing bowl and offers me a fresh spoon. Oh fine, I guess I'll do the "washing". YUM :P

The Cake in Question: Coffee & Walnut!
Photo Courtesy of Sweet Café and Bakery

Now that we've gotten that out of our system, let's get to the meaty centre of this entry: when "what's right" isn't reason enough. 

There was a time where I would eat, sleep, play, pray, study, dance, practice, etc, as instructed. That was a simpler time, where I was taught to set standards for myself, achieve them, and don't let laziness/distraction get in the way. That was also the time of a heavy Catholic upbringing. Where lessons of "what you should do" were accompanied by "what you should believe".

I don't want to start a debate, but I do think a discussion of some Catholic topics is very much in order. Going to University was the first step to discovering that the world was not dictated by like-minded people. In fact, from my friends at UNSW, I could say six of them were Catholic. Three of them attended weekly mass.

The other week after singing at Mass, many parishioners came up to me, asking about my career prospects (the amount of times someone has asked "are you professional?" astounds/angers me, but we'll save that for another time). Anyway, when describing my desire to be an actress, many of them immediately responded with: "but what about your Catholic faith?" ... another thing that angers me.

Everyone is individual. No one is perfect. My perspective is completely different to yours. My values in life, unfortunately, do not align perfectly with the Catholic faith's ideals. 

When discussing social topics in (my very Catholic, Opus Dei) high school (which I love, btw), I remember the trending phrase: greatest good. Although there are drawbacks to every situation, we should try and attain the "greatest good" by assessing the situation from as many angles as possible. The one drawback to this argument, however, is the acceptance that there is an absolute good:  that somehow, there is one option that is the epitome of good and we need to aim as close to that "good" as we possibly can.

I cycle a lot. Sometimes, I take detours that take me away from my destination. Sometimes those detours give me different experiences, show me beautiful things, open my eyes to new things. I still reach my destination. Now who's to say what aspects of the trip incur the "greatest good"? Is it distance traveled, nature seen, friends seen, tasks achieved on the way, reflection time? Or are there simply many different ways of equal goodness, finishing at the same place?

The Crux of My Discussion

Now let's apply this thought process to a highly contended social topic: Gay Marriage. In the past week, a friend posted a biased article about the Catholic church's letter concerning gay marriage. I looked up the original letter, written by the Catholic Bishops of Australia, entitled "Don't Mess with Marriage". With a title like that, I just cringe a bit. It wholly highlights the traditional, stern approach of the Catholic Church. However, it piqued my curiosity, and I read the original document to see what they had to say.

There was a lot of stuff that made me sigh, because I've heard it before. We shouldn't redefine marriage, the dictionary definition of marriage is "between a man and a woman", etc etc. Interestingly, it said things like, "only a man can be a father and a woman a mother" because of their "masculinity and femininity". 

Again, I sighed at the gender stereotyping. 

By this time, I had become resigned to disliking the article, but they brought up a few points that I think ought to be highlighted. There were many case studies in which Catholic/Christian societies/businesses were being fined for discrimination against gays. What is the greatest good in this situation? Giving the Catholics the freedom to choose who they serve, or giving the gays the freedom to choose which businesses to support? My gut reaction is saying: the Catholics can serve who they please; if they think the person is bad, then they don't have to serve them. I've seen many customers who have been controversial, and I can see how a customer might be banned from a shop for their behaviour.

But here's the catch: is the behaviour of "being gay" actually harming anyone? Can being gay be equated to "bad" things like not paying for the service, harassing the employees, damaging the premise?

Um...

I don't think so.

The article also touched upon the fact that marriage is an institution focusing on family life, and that gay couples cannot rear children in the traditional sense of the word. It mentioned a few studies which found that children from gay marriages are less happy than those from heterosexual ones.

My head went: I hate, hate, hate this article. How many of these children are adopted? How many had rough upbringings in unstable foster homes? How many were abused in the womb by an unconcerned mother? How many were discriminated against in schools simply because they had two dads or two moms? 

How do you even measure happiness?

Psychological research or not, there are so many children who are granted a stable home if there is a willing couple to adopt, gay or not. So shall we say "the children's happiness" is more important than "the children having a stable home life"? 

Ugh.

Celebrating Marriage

Newlywed James with Sal and Em
Photo Curtesy of Em

I had the extreme pleasure of attending a wedding this weekend - a wedding which happened to be gay. I think halfway through the reception it dawned on me: had I been a more stringent Catholic, I wouldn't have agreed to come along, let alone contribute to the service by singing. And in this sense, I am so glad I'm not a more stringent Catholic. I loved everything about the day, from the children dancing behind as I performed, to James' speech where he corrected "we" to "my husband and I". I loved that there was a communal effort to celebrate and support this couple, and above all, I loved how much this serves as a reminder of the important things in life. Love, support, community, sharing, laughing, crying... Living!

Let us not deny the freedom to live! Let us celebrate love rather than condemning it.

James and John with their ring bearers :P
Photo Curtesy of Craig Dawson

Pope Francis.... Please don't excommunicate me.