Fill in the [Blank]

"Fun is Dead"

Ms. Royals announces this to our 9th grade class with an intensity and a smirk. She's mentoring us on how to write essays, exclaiming that the word barely adds meaning. 

"Fun is dead. Good is dead."

We sit there with mouths agape. These two words have been ingrained in our vocabularies since the age of 4 and are now untouchables when it comes to writing. Thirteen year old Sal didn't realize at the time, but she would eventually remove them from her speech, using "well" when responding about how she's doing, and replacing Fun with "exciting" or "awesome" or "enjoyable" or poshest of all "rejuvenating". 

Throughout my studies, however, I find the nebulousness of Good extremely attractive. In theatre, it works exceptionally well as it can encompass so many nuances at once. That ambiguity of meaning makes the scene even more entrancing, because the audience members have to figure it out for themselves, individually.

"All it has to be is good. And George, you're good. You're really good." -Sunday in the Park with George

The word itself has a declamatory finality to it. It's just a vowel sound sandwiched between two hard consonants, yet it is capable of a wealth of meaning, all extracted from a monosyllable.

So here's what I have to say to you, Ms. Royals: using Good is fun.

Finding Fun in Simplicity

It seems the further along I progress in life, the more I strive for simplicity. With the relaxed jobs of dog walking, promoting and coffee shop girl-ing, you could say I lead a carefree lifestyle. Compound this with highly anticipated and quickly dissipating auditions, and you get a girl on the cusp of two very different realities: one of easiness and laughter, and another of introspection and dissatisfaction. 

To keep cool during times of strain, I like to [Blank].

[Blank] includes eating carbs, reaching out, sleeping heaps. I am still searching for the best way to deal with disappointment, and all I've learned is there is no certainty on this front except the following: a) I need to will it for it to be achieved, and b) it's best to find a way to do that on my own. Now that the weather's getting brighter, I've found myself cycling distances with no destinations, only exploration and enjoyment. Now that the days are longer, I am taking walks, rides, sunlit seats. It's quite obvious that I'm a summer baby, and this is my time to flourish. When the sun sets, I sleep. And yes, this is about 21:30 at night. When it rises, I rise. And yes, this is about 05:30 in the morning. It is absolutely wonderful to have nature dictate my rhythms. The constant self-doubt diminishes when I listen to the world, and all the world expects of me is to turn up and do my best.

I remember a time in my childhood when I refused to go to bed, crying. I didn't want to. My mom led an aggravated and stubborn Sal to the holy water (we used to bless ourselves before going upstairs) and told me, "Sally, you're just tired." When I realized that a) she was right and b) I was barring myself from the best medicine of all, I succumbed. Maybe it is good to leave the day behind, bless it, then trust.

Defying gravity, striving for perfection, working against all odds - these are only remarkable when they are in line with what nature requires of you. Spend enough time with nature, and maybe you'll understand where your destiny lies. I can only imagine the process is fun and the outcome is good.

And "all it has to be is good."