The Love Issue

How're Your Love Lives, Ladies?

Asks the Fleeced! leading actor, Connor. Alice begins to speak, and I listen intently. I follow the discussion from Connor to Alice, not really knowing how to contribute.

Love is such a bizarre thing; most people our age who claim they've been in love have struggled through it desperately. To me, they had a warped misconception of what they needed in the relationship, what they received from their partner, and who they are. My discussions with the older generations give me a more comprehensive idea of love. Rather than sharing just interests and friend groups, these people share investments, families, dreams, goals. They happily bear the pain of the other and rely heavily on honesty, and they continue on in their relationships because of utter commitment and self-denial.

True love or not, relationships change our self-perceptions and motivations. We end up trying all sorts of things, become more accommodating, less structured. We begin to see our lives melding with our partner's, we long for his/her input and satisfaction. That's the thing about love, it changes our focus in life. We realise that our happiness is greatly dependent on our partner's happiness, and our personal lives only seem consequential when we think of how we support others. To young adults, the idea of love seems like the best way of liberation, as so much of life alone is self-focused and ultimately confusing, aggravating and boring. To 40-some year olds in long term relationships, love seems insignificant and exhausting, and to 60-year olds, it seems fulfilling and worthwhile. These are gross exaggerations, yes, but natural progression makes it so:  we wouldn't fall in love if it wasn't initially passionate and liberating. Living with someone for 10+ years can get pretty freaking annoying. Seeing your children have children rejuvenates your life together, and you're able to concentrate on the blessing rather than the necessities. 

Well, yeah... that's how I see it, in a nutshell.

Observation Mode

I've joined the outskirts of romantic society once more, much preferring to look on than to be involved. Being in a degree of my rigour, you really just don't have much time to get to know others, and not to sound pompous or anything, but it takes a hell of a lot of time to get to know me. Unfortunately, that's how I've treated a lot of things in life.... not delving into anything, absorbing the superficial and discarding the rest. 

Nobody in his/her right mind would be passionate about the superficial.

Conclusions from Today's Blog:

Sal's a very good listener.

If you have the chance to fall in love, go for it wholeheartedly.

You should probably try and fall in love with life too.

Relationship or not, try and make others happy and you'll be pro at life.