8 Days a Week (of loving)

We're going to start this off as a freewrite as I ease my way into talking about this horrendous yet stupendous week. Firstly, it was an eye-opener to the fact that dating apps are absolutely atrocious. Alongside many other addictive things from my past (primarily Words With Friends, Youtube videos, and cookies), I felt I was spending so much time invested in it. I'd refine my profile every other day, open accounts on other apps, and continuously swipe left and right as new faces popped onto the screen. I'd formulate innovative ways to approach the men I could potentially date. 

I Wish this had been on my Dating Profiles.

And then it hit me. The man I'd want would not be on dating apps. 

Have you ever been in that situation where you say, "I'm not going to have chocolate", but then you eat everything else in proximity, but nothing does the trick and you end up feeling worse for it? It's as if the one thing that could satiate you was the one thing that was intangible. 

Now I'm going to try, very clumsily, to akin this to my goal to find the right man. I know that he's out there somewhere, but I need to trust that wherever he is, he will come into my life at a time when my life is ready for him. Looking through profile after profile of lawyers, teachers, consultants, managers, all I really wanted to find was someone who shared my passion for musical theatre. What was the probability that a musical theatre lover was going to be on this app? Fairly slim. If I had gone to see some theatre this weekend, however, the likelihood of meeting someone with a shared passion is exponentially greater.

So now that I've ascertained that I was looking for my chocolate in the frozen section, we come to a very important point that I need to face and am ashamed to say:  I've been neglecting my musical theatre love. What with being away, being ill, job hunting, and job doing, I was losing sight of my real passion and wasting plenty of my time on dating apps, looking for answers. If I put my efforts into my love, surely only fruit would come from that?

As we heard in today's Psalm, "My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." (Psalm 91:2). I just need to trust (which I'm usually so much better at) that the right person will come along at the right time. God knows I've already done the, shall we say "relationship time bomb" thing, where I knew I'd be leaving the country but allowed myself to fall in love anyway. I mean, I'm all for falling in love, but I'm even more for finding more and more of myself.

Power to Sal! 

So sorry, Johanna, "Operation Find Sally a Husband" will defuse for now. 

Back to the Good Ol' Lovin'

Today, I attended something called "West End Masterclass". It's a program that provides singing, acting and dance training with a great platform to sing in West End Live and perform for some really big named casting directors. Besides all that, I was so happy to be back in a room with a group of people, playing. 

The thing of the matter is, going to auditions just doesn't cut it. You only get that feeling of family, collaboration, and wholeheartedness when you're in a company, and since leaving College, I've definitely missed that feeling. Today rejuvenated me and made me realize that I was more than just a number, more than just another face turning up to an audition, I was an actress with gravitas. 

How good a word is gravitas though? Totally going to name my kid that.

So as we are now in the second month of 2016, the year I've dubbed "the year of love", I'm going to rekindle my love for MT, allow myself to explore and pursue and soak up and dream. It's no use thinking of my job as a job. I do it because I love it, and it just so happens that I get paid for it every once in a while. Those moments are precious, but moreover, my investment in myself is the most precious gift I'll ever give, and in turn, I'll be a better person for others too.

Happiness is a very, very contagious thing. Let yourself be happy. Let yourself be.

Felicity with Friends

I've had the ultimate pleasure of spending time with +Kate Vlietstra and +Julia Kelly, both of whom I met in Sydney, neither of whom have met each other! Kate, Michael (her boyfriend) and I spent Shrove Tuesday (i.e. fat tuesday, mardi gras, or pancake tuesday) together making and eating pancakes while listening to some great MT tunes. It was an evening of bliss after I'd been rained on all afternoon, cold and wet from an outdoors shift + cycling. I honestly don't know how I put myself through the throes, but hey, I got over an hour of cardio and saved myself a few pounds and many minutes. 

A Bona Fide Angel, reading us poetry in the night light.

Jules and I spent Galentine's Day together (the day before Valentine's, duh!), and she so wonderfully cooked an amazing batch of leek, onion, chili and potato patties for the gang. What a delicious veggie delight! I was so glad to see her, to laugh and goof around and spend time. Oh Jules, how I'll miss spending time with you as our lives diverge once more! But let's not jump the gun here.

Let's jump topics.

To my pups.

Archie, my Little Croissant!

Figo, my Sage Confidante!

I think I'm going to finish it there, with my ash blob. I was astounded at how light the ashes were. Perhaps they put something different in the water over here or something.

I was number 1 in Line. WOOOOOT